


Dancing's not a crime (unless you do it without me)

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dancing, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Karkat Vantas, but it's minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 21:36:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dave finds something out about Karkat and is so shaken he must go talk it out with his therapist. But it's not what you think.





	Dancing's not a crime (unless you do it without me)

**Author's Note:**

> i think when i wrote this i was supposed to be srudying for some important test?? anyways, its here now. hope yall enjoy this lowkey crack fic?? also, who can guess the author???

Sara and Rose met at Rose’s place on an early spring day, when the smell of rain still lingered in the cold air but the feeling of the sun on one’s skin was enough to warm said person to the core. 

The day promised to be picture perfect in the least: the sky was clear, save for a few clouds white as whipped cream, birds sang as they settled in with the tentative warmth and, due to it being saturday morning - just before noon, actually.- no matters seemed pressing in the least.

 

Rose enjoyed Sara’s company, she was one of the people that she’d met in college that had slowly grown to consider Rose their personal therapist. Even if not official yet many had started considering Lalonde’s living room as the go to place for talking any crisis out. 

With Sara sitting on the couch and her back to the window Rose felt pretty close to a breakthrough as she was finally talking about her difficult relationship with her sister, the moment was delicate, words were clearly difficult to form for Sara, but they were getting there. 

 

The room smelled of old books and fresh flowers, the clock on the wal scanned time in beats that seemed almost shy, as Sara swallowed. 

Then Dave stormed in the room, making Sara jump.

 

Both girls’ eyes flew to the clearly distressed guy as he kept making his way to Sara.

“What the-”

“I am so sorry but you gotta leave like right fucking now-”

“Dave what are you doing here?

“Who the fuck is this?” Dave seemed particularly bold, a bit out of character, going as far as taking Sara’s arm to make her stand up and moving a hand on her back to push her out of the room.

The room was now chaos as both girls kept asking for explanations and for Dave to hold on, wait. Saying he couldn’t just storm in and kick people out. And Dave kept just saying that he needed the girl out right then in that instant and no listen you’ll talk to Rose later it’s my turn now like you gotta be gone two minutes ago.

 

Rose stopped asking questions when Dave finally pushed Sara out and locked the door behind her. She was absolutely certain that something was seriously wrong when he finally turned towards her and put his hands in front of his face, as if praying, collecting himself. 

 

He looked pretty badly off, with yesterday’s clothes still on and wrinkled to hell.

He breathed in deeply and then moved his hands towards Rose. He opened his mouth but not a word came out. 

Rose looked at him attently, her eyes narrowing down into thin slits as he closed his hands into fists and briskly walked up to her. 

 

She did not move, save for shifting her grip on her pen a bit, she sat calmly in her armchair with one leg crossed over the other and her hands on her lap. Her position deliberately relaxed but contained at the same time.

 

Dave made another attempt at talking only a few steps from her, from this close Rose could see his hair not deliberately messy for once, the light red tint of his cheeks. When he opened up his hands, as if to release his words, she saw the white half moons his nails left in his palms. 

And still, no words left his mouth.

 

He groaned letting himself fall on the couch next to his sister.

Rose smoothed her skirt with the back of her hand, giving Dave one last chance at talking unprompted.

 

“Did you know that Karkat is half Spanish?” He was talking with a pillow pressed to his face, but at least it was a start, she guessed.

“Yes, I heard it tends to happen when one guardian in born and raised in the Spanish part of the Iberian peninsula.”

“And he speaks spanish, like fluently.”

“Oh?” She put her Notebook on the coffee table, pulling out the ‘Dave-Binder’ instead and flipping it to a blank page in the ‘Karkat’ section. “have you found out recently?”

“‘Bout a month ago.” He finally dropped the throw pillow, looking at her. Where were his signature aviators? 

 

“Please, do tell.”

 

“So, you know how when we have the last class together we tend to hang out a little?”

That time they had ended up at a park nearby, sitting on the swings and getting their pants completely wet in the leftover water from that morning’s rain. Dave had taken over Karkat’s phone to put on some music since his own’s battery was dead. He moved the swing a bit as he shifted the weight from the tips of his feet to the back and back to the tips and he scrolled through Karkat’s saved songs, then an artist’s name cought his eye.

 

 

“Tisiano Perro?” Karkat pulled himself a bit closer and pulled a face as he watched the screen.

“It’s ‘Tiziano Ferro’, you uncultured swine. He’s Italian.”

“Why do you have Italian singers on here? It’s not like you understand it!”

“Okay firstly, fuck you-” He let himself swig back away and oscillate gently-

“Secondly, I do understand Italian, thank you very much. And also, like a lot of italian singers, he does also speak spanish, so fuck you. Besides you don’t really have to understand a language to enjoy it’s music.”

“Wait you actually speak his language? Bullshit.”

“Not bullshit. Just because your inferior brain only understands one language, and barely, it doesn’t mean other people can’t master many!”

 

Dave scoffed. “Okay, then prove it.”

“How?”

“Translate this dude’s songs.”

“I don’t know them by heart!” Dave didn’t even skip a beat, just pressed his finger down on the song with the guy’s name. His eyebrows immediately shot upwards as the first notes to what was a quintessential early ‘00s sex song started playing.

 

 

Karkat threw his head back groaning but seemed to collect himself enough by the time Tiziano started singing.

Karkat held on tight to the chains of his swing and looked somewhere far off with a deeply focused look on his face. 

Tiziano was only about two words in when he started speaking as well.

 

“My stare can defend itself but it’s dying of desire and now you know-” He kind of preserved the cadence of the song, maybe to help himself remember the lyrics? Dave could’ve just stopped the music every now and again, ask him to translate to bits while the blonde kept a translated lyrics on hand for himself. But if Karkat wanted to make this harder who was Dave to stop him from making an ass of himself?

 

“All day and night too, the thought of you is here and it fucks me and now you know.

Now up, now down, 30 degrees Fahrenheit- your perfume burns-” On that note Karkat suddenly looked back at Dave meeting his eyes instantly with a light of smugness and victory.

“You talk a lot, I talk too much and now find a way to make me shut up. Make me. Shut. Up!”

 

The next part Karkat had definitely committed to memory because he translated at the same time as the guy sang.

“The thing is that you know what I’m looking for, neck, shoulders and chin- I’m a chronical bastard, hold me tight- chest smiles at me perverted-” He pulled a bit of a face as if confused himself by the order of the words that had just left his mouth- “And yell at me if I’m wrong and then- One for me and one for you and one for the both of us.”

 

Okay, so Karkat knew spanish and that song was definitely not sexy. Still, there was something about the clearly sexual theme and the porno like sound that kinda made Dave feel funny. The fact that Karkat had now closed his eyes and started singing along only looking at Dave every now and again, as if dedicating the next verse to him was not helping.

 

 

Since when was Spanish a sexy language, damn it, it was supposed to be Mario’s language, no wait. That’s Italian. Still, it had no right of sounding that nice on the ears. Hold up, did anybody say sexy? It could not be right. 

 

Dave found himself with a dry mouth and frozen into place. His eyes following Karkat’s movements with his insides dropping and catching fire. His mind was completely blank, only registering that Karkat kept coming closer to him, saying something and pushing back again.

 

The spell seemed to break only when Karkat spoke english again, his face only inches from Dave’s with a shit eating grin as he took his phone back. “Yes, but down in hell it’s gonna be you.” He lightly hit the top of Dave’s head with the phone and let his swing take him back away.

 

 

“And you said this happened…?” Rose’s sudden interruption dragged Dave back to the present where he had recently flung the pillow halfway across the room.

 

“About a month ago-”

“Dave are you saying that you’ve been thinking about this for the past month?” She looked up from her now full page, looking a bit concerned for her brother. 

“That sounds like too much even for you and your tendencies to suppress your romantic-”

 

 

“No, I stopped thinking of it like two days later, that’s not why I’m here.”

“So why did you start from that?” She twirled the pen in her hand two times letting it spin around her thumb and go back to an optimal position for writing.

 

“I dunno. To say that he’s into music?” He rubbed at his eyes an froze for a moment, as if only then realizing that his glasses were missing. Honestly, Rose had hardly ever seen him this worked up.

 

“Dave,” She waited until he dropped his hands and looked at her before continuing. “What happened? Why are you here now?”

 

He swallowed. “Yesterday I went at Karkat’s to hang out. Watch some movies, annoy him a bit?” 

 

“And isn’t this pretty usual for you?” She caught herself just before she could chew on the tip of the pen, and tried to pass it off as nothing, but the look on Dave’s face told her that she was busted. Fuck.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve told me on multiple occasions that you would spend the night in his house, therefore shouldn’t just an evening in be pretty low-pressure?”

 

“Yeah, no that’s not the issue, I- I did end up spending the night even if not planned-”

Rose’s eyebrow perked up in an instant. could he mean? 

 

“No, not like that we just passed out during movie three. Why do you always have to make it gay?!”

What had happened the previous night was entirely innocent and almost part of a routine for the two. 

 

The issue arose the following day.

 

Dave woke up at around 10 am to the sound of music coming from the living room. He groaned as he stretched out his back making it pop a few times and sat up.

 

He pulled up his ripped jeans but did not bother to close them up again. He was lazy and shit was tight, besides, it was only Karkat, he wouldn’t faint at that. He’d spent the late part of the previous night in shorts and a sports bra. (The binder would be uncomfortable and he decided it was too hot to bother with a shirt.)

 

The blonde ran his hands on his bare arms as he looked for his plaid shirt. Had he forgotten it in the living room?

 

The answer was yes, he could see it on the back of the couch when he walked in, but that had quickly lost importance to the other thing that was going on in the room: Karkat, still in last night’s outfit, was cleaning up the mess of wrappers and cans they had created the previous night while he listened to Shakira.

 

Karkat was listening to Shakira and almost fucking dancing to it too.

 

“Karkat was dancing?”

“Yes. Well, not exactly, he was more like kinda moving his shoulders and tapping his foot to the beat?”

“Brother dearest, I am not calling you a liar, but you do understand that it is hard to believe, correct? I mean, Karkat? Permanently tense and stiff Karkat?”

“And you haven’t heard shit yet. Listen up.”

 

Seeing Karkat like that was almost hysterical. Dave decided that he could either sit back and commit this moment to memory in order to pass it on down to his children and grandchildren in what would soon turn into some kind of urban legend or he could tease Karkat for it and start the day off in the right way: with a Karkat brand vintage tantrum.

 

He waltzed in with a step loud enough to inform Karkat of his presence and hell, the song had the right lyrics in it, so he sang it even if the moment was not the right one.

 

“I never really knew that you could dance like this, you makes a man want to speak Spanish, como se llama-” he was dancing too, exaggeratedly, yes, but his goal was to make Karkat blush or start yelling. What he was not expecting was for Karkat to look at him and roll his eyes before his mouth broke into a smirk.

 

Karkat’s expression screamed ‘Nobody will ever believe you’ as he dropped what he had in his hands and stepped aside, to make sure he was standing right in front of Dave.

 

He looked at Dave dead in the eyes as he mouthed Shakira’s words an started rolling his hips as if it were nobody’s business. 

 

“No, I know what I saw, Rose and it’s not even like he stopped there!”

“Are we talking about the same Karkat?”

“Dude, yes! He started walking towards me still fucking belly dancing and he was like all up in my business and turned-”

“Why didn’t you step back?”

 

The thing was that Dave was completely hypnotized. Karkat had held eye contact the whole time and Dave could see that there was still a joking edge to it but it was soon gone as it didn’t take him much to be in Dave’s personal space. So warm the blonde could feel his body heat. To the rhythm of the song Karkat turned till his shoulder blades were not even an inch from Dave’s chest. They were so close and still not touching. 

 

The one that initiated contact was Dave and he hadn’t even realized: he had put his arm almost around Karkat, so the dancer took a hold of it around his waist. 

 

Dave wouldn't have been able to distinguish his left hand from a literal five headed dragon right about then. Shakira was saying something and Karkat- this close there was contact. There absolutely was contact.

 

 

‘Come on let’s go’ and Karkat rolled his hips upwards, his movement just like all he’d done that far, almost spineless and perfectly fluid. Deliberate in every little detail, Dave was sure of it, His bottom rubbed lightly against Dave’s crotch and just the memory of the heat and barely there pressure made Dave’s face heat up all over again.

 

Karkat did it again, even slower and with just a bit more pressure during ‘Real slow’. 

The taller one couldn’t even tell when Karkat had placed a hand behind his neck to anchor himself but apparently that was a thing that had happened ‘Baby. like this is perfection.’ Karkat’s hips moved again a few times, without any contact now.

 

Dave could’ve just as well been made of concrete for how much he moved during that.

Karkat didn’t seem to notice much as he spinned away, but kept holding on to Dave’s hand and started facing him again.

 

Dave wasn’t entirely sure what had happened next but he was at Rose’s place.

 

 

There was a beat of silence while Rose studied her brother, now lying half on the floor, half on the sofa with his hands splayed out, eyes tightly shut in embarrassment. She was not certain whether his blush was caused by embarrassment or the memories that he’d just finished recalling.  

 

“Let’s see if I got this right. You tried to make Karkat uncomfortable and when he responded with some playful flirting you went rigid, pun intended, and… I assume you completely closed in on yourself and engaged in the forty-five minute journey to my place-”

“Thirty by bus.”

“Did you TAKE the bus?” She was met with silence as she took a sip of a now tepid tea. Dave let himself completely fall boneless and off the sofa with a whine. Rose had to admit, she was happy he was now comfortable enough to display his emotions like this with her.

 

“As I thought. Did he try to reach out to you again?”

“I don’t know, I left my phone at his place.”

“Did you literally walk out of his door as soon as he stepped away?” She tried her best not to let the amusement slip into her tone.

 

“... Maybe so.”

“Do you see how that might’ve hurt him, Dave?”

Dave covered his face with his arms while letting out a ‘fuck’ that was almost impressive in it’s length.

 

“Do I need to explain to you why I think you might have feelings for your ‘best bro’ one more time? Would you rather read my 37 page long essay instead?”

“Rose, what do I do?”

 

She finally closed the binder and put it back on the table while humming in faint thought.

 

“The way I see it, you have a choice to make.” He lifted his arms and looked up at her.

“You can either step away from Karkat, or at the very least from the combination of early 2000s music and Karkat, or you could go back to him but make the walk a fifty minute one-”

Dave looked at her with furrowed eyebrows as she fetched some money from her bra.

“There is a drug store nearby, these should be enough for a box of condoms.”

 

His cheeks turned scarlet red again as he stood up at a speed that MUST have caused his vision to go black for a moment. He shrieked a ‘What the fuck’ and saw himself out of the door.

 

To Rose’s surprise Sara was still waiting outside. She did send Dave a death stare as she walked back in, but she walked back in. 

 

“Fucker forgot my bag in here. I’m out.”

“Oh please, stay. I’m sure my brother won’t cause trouble anymore.”

“What even was his problem?”

“I believe my work is about to be done. I just need him to take one last step-” Just then Dave rushed back in, red to his eartips, he didn’t look around and just bent over to take the money off the table and walked back out without a word. Closing the door behind him.

 

“Ah, I stand corrected.”

“I just need them for the bus ride! “ he shouted just as the door slammed behind him. 

Thirty-five minutes later there was a knock at Karkat’s door. He opened up, giving Dave an unamused look. On his behalf Dave was almost disappointed in seeing him back to his usual baggy clothes, with no music on the background. 

 

“Are you done now?”

“You can dance,” He said like maybe a doctor would inform a parent that their kid needs to be vaccinated, regardless of weird rabies fantasies. He told him so as if Karkat not only didn't know that, but wouldn't even believe it. 

 

“Do you want to get your shit or should I just close the door on you and sell your phone? I’m sure some idiota on the internet will be more than glad to pay for it. Maybe it’ll cover groceries for a day or two.”

“You can dance.”

“Closed door it is then.” Karkat actually went to shut the door, but Dave instinctively put his foot in the entrance, in order to stop him. 

 

It ended up not being needed since Karkat quickly opened the door again to release a full verbal tempest on him. 

Yeah, fuck that, Dave had just ran way too much, his legs hurt like hell, he wasn’t going to stand around. 

 

“Yeah, yeah, I deserve every single insult you've thought of, specifically for me. I’m gonna go sit before I faint in your hallway, cool? Cool.”

 

His anger seems to dissipate, substituted by worry. 

 

“... Where were you?”

“Post freak out power walk, sorry.”

“Why would you freak out anyways?! I just danced, it’s not like I turned out to have lime blood!”

“Honestly I would’ve taken the weird blood better than this…”

“You’re an idiotic piece of shit.”

“And you’re hot and it took sexy dancing for me to notice so I guess we’re on the same page.”

 

Karkat uncrossed his arms overtaken by shock, the hint of red in his cheeks did not escape Dave’s eye. 

 

“When did you learn to dance?”

“I tried to copy Shakira when I was little? My parents loved it because it was the only ‘girly’ thing I did so they got me courses and shit…”

“Teach me?” Karkat puffed out a hint of a laugh, rolling his eyes and looking to the side. 

 

“No, you’ll go all blank faced and walk out of my door like a robot again.”

“I swear I won't.”

 

 

About five months later Dave was commenting about how weird was it for a couple’s first routine to based on Shakira’s La Tortura between a kiss and an aroused look as he kneeled down to his two months long boyfriend. 

 


End file.
